There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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