This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
