He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
