I looked at my own cervix.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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