I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
