At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
