We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
