he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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