That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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