Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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