You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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