Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Randomize
