This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
