Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize