Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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