Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
be right there i have to get my cape
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
