I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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