just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
