I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize