Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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