Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
