I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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