You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I supernannyed him into submission
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
