Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize