So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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