So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
