i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
