Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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