problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
