..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
