He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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