Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Houston, we have a squirter
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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