you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
