girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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