DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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