He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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