Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
