This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i've created a new STD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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