i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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