being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
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Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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