I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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