I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
