So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
tell me about the eggs
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