shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
