Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
