Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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