I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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