I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize