M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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