Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
he high fived his dick after we had sex
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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