One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
