I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
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I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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