you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
