I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
