I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
