belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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