Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize