I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
