He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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