just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
