i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We need to get me chipped asap
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
