your thong is hanging out like whoa
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He passed out mid-signature
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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