bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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