Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
